This is set to the tune of “I’ve Got a Little List” from The Mikado by Gilbert and Sullivan. There’s a long history of rewriting lyrics to this song, so I feel like this is in good company!
With apologies to W. S. Gilbert and Arthur Sullivan….
As someday it may happen that a good book must be found,
I’ve got a little list, a little booking list
Of some classic romance tropes that in romances abound,
In fact, they can’t be missed—they’re really can’t be missed!
There’s the alpha hero swaggering and taking off his clothes,
The heroine who’s feisty and as lovely as a rose,
The stalwart friend, the comic chap, the silly dowager,
The maiden aunt, the autocrat, the nasty villain cur,
They’re in romance fanciful and historical, too
And does that work for you? Now does that work for you?
Chorus
They’re on our booking list, they’re on our booking list,
And they’ll none of them be missed, they’ll none of them be missed!
There’s the millionaire financier, who is handsome, brave, and strong,
The charming smart assistant who would never do him wrong,
The night of love, the morning fear, and inevitably,
There’s the twist we hold so dear, the secret baby,
The “mother who never needs any child support” plot.
I think that’s what we’ve got, I’m sure that’s what we’ve got.
Chorus
It’s on our booking list, it’s on our booking list,
And they’ll none of them be missed, they’ll none of them be missed!
There’s tragedy, there’s comedy, and now there’s suspense too.
I think we’ll find a romance that we know will work for you.
Just start a list, a booking list, and then you’re on your way,
Your romance friends will help you make your list grow day by day,
And suddenly there is no room, your home can hold no more,
Off to the used bookstore, trade in at the bookstore!
Chorus
They’re on our booking list, they’re on our booking list,
And they’ll none of them be missed, they’ll none of them be missed!
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